What Stops you from Starting?

Do you often ask yourself, why do I procrastinate so much? 

Let’s get a few things straight: you don’t procrastinate because you’re lazy, unmotivated, or a hot mess. You procrastinate because your emotions are getting in the way. The solution for procrastination has nothing to do with berating yourself into trying harder. It’s about accepting that you are reacting emotionally to the task you are avoiding and learning how to recognize when your emotional dysregulation is getting in the way. Let’s talk about strategies to become more intentional about getting things done. 

Why You Procrastinate
The number one reason you procrastinate is based on how you ‘feel’ about the task you’re not doing. Fear, overwhelm, perceived boredom—sound familiar? Research shows that if you can identify the emotional response, you are more able to move forward with intention.
People with ADHD often struggle to regulate emotions, which creates a gap between your intention (“I want to do this”) and your action (“I’m doing it”). That gap feels like a fast-flowing river with no bridge in sight.

ADHD and Procrastination
Everyone procrastinates, but for people with ADHD it’s a tighter web to escape. We’re the masters of avoidance, and we don’t just scroll social media or clean the kitchen. We create full-blown rituals around avoiding stuff. Why? Because it’s easier to soothe the discomfort of not doing than to face the discomfort of doing.
And here’s where it gets even trickier: procrastination itself creates pain—emotional and physical. That unfinished task? It doesn’t just loom over your head; it weighs down your heart, reminding you yet again that you are that person who doesn’t get things done and isn’t productive. How many times have you asked yourself, what’s wrong with me?

Recently, a client started our session by saying he wanted to learn how to manage his procrastination. I suggested we start with one specific example of something he had been keeping on the shelf for a while. He knew he had to book a check-up with his doctor as he recently turned fifty and knew it was important to stay on top of his health. What he was procrastinating was making the phone call to book the appointment. A five-minute task that he had been putting off for six months!

After a few questions on my part and some unraveling on his part, he realized he was afraid of going to the appointment and finding out something was wrong. He didn’t have any symptoms, but he was a single dad with a young son. His fear of not being there for his son was boldly standing in the way of him going to the doctor. The fear was, for the most part, unconscious. He didn’t spend time thinking about it, but it was there, under the surface, festering. And it was very intense.

Speaking this fear out loud, talking through the likeliness of something being seriously wrong with his health, and acknowledging that it would be better to know than not know eased the paralysis. He agreed to make the phone call after our session.

Emotional dysregulation is one of the most difficult ADHD traits to manage.


How to Beat Procrastination
 
Take some time and try to identify if there is an emotion lurking behind your avoidance. Ask yourself where in your body you feel it. Put your hand there and talk to the emotion. If it’s not emotionally driven, I’ve got some other suggestions for you.
 
1. Fear
We create false excuses to mask fear. “I have been busy.” “I wasn’t in the right mood.” Sound familiar?
Solution: Call out the excuse for what it is. Identify any limiting beliefs such as, I need a clear plate to deal with this task.

2. Overwhelm
When the task feels enormous, your ADHD brain shuts down.
Solution: Break it into small steps. Write it down into tiny tasks and tackle one thing at a time.

3. Anxiety
The “what ifs” are running laps in your mind. Perhaps you have to make a big (or small) decision. You keep going back and forth in your mind, creating the worst possible scenarios.
Solution: Notice the spiral. Step back and shift your energy. Walk, breathe, or journal to reset your brain. Accept that you can’t know the outcome and remind yourself that you are strong enough to deal with it either way.

4. Time Blindness
Deadlines are abstract until they’re crushing you.
Solution: Tell yourself there is no such thing as later. Assign a day, and time. Set mini-deadlines with alarms.

5. Dopamine Drought
Your brain craves stimulation, and boring tasks don’t cut it.
Solution: Promise yourself a reward after you finish. Or do 10 minutes of the task alternating with 10 minutes of something you enjoy. Set alarms!

6. Low Energy
ADHD moods and energy levels can flip in a heartbeat.
Solution: Know your rhythm. Do hard things when your energy is high. Fuel your body with good food and exercise. If you’re having a low-energy day, do low-energy tasks. Save the big stuff for another day. 
 
Procrastination is part of being human—especially with ADHD. But it doesn’t have to own you. Understanding what’s holding you back is the first step. The second? Take one small action. Just one. 
Because action—no matter how tiny—is the antidote to procrastination.